


There Are No Intersections On This Road

by misura



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural (TV) Fusion, M/M, Unrequited Love, crossovering treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2221173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony isn't entirely sure how he goes from being a top student at MIT to driving around America in a semi-sentient Impala named Jarvis while hunting ghosts, demons and killer robots from the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Are No Intersections On This Road

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chase_acow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chase_acow/gifts).



Tony isn't entirely sure how he goes from being a top student at MIT to driving around America in a semi-sentient Impala named Jarvis while hunting ghosts, demons and killer robots from the future.

Over the past few months, he's formulated a theory, and it goes something like this:

it's all Steve's fault.

 

Steve's full name is Steve Rogers.

Steve's _other_ full name is Captain America.

He's a superhero.

"Tony, I'm not a superhero," Steve says, because he's a very _modest_ superhero.

The kind of guy who, when someone thanks him for saving them from the totally creepy evil thingy of the week, mumbles something like 'aw, shucks' and pretends he doesn't notice the blatant amount of flirting that's going on.

"Shut up," Tony says. He's got about a hundred comics by way of proof that Steve is, in fact, a superhero. He used to have, like, a thousand or so, but they needed the trunk space for other stuff, so six weeks ago, he's dumped about nine hundred of them on some kid named Eli. Tony's made him swear he'll take real good care of them, and plans on calling at least once a month to remind Eli that Tony does, in fact, still know where he lives.

Jarvis has told Tony he thinks Tony is a little obsessive about his comics collection.

(Tony's not. He's just obsessive about _Steve_ , which is totally different.)

 

The thing is, they're not really - well, Tony wants them to be, and there was that one time when they thought they were going to die, and people do and say stupid things sometimes when they think they're going to die; it's like a rule or something.

But.

Steve's got a boyfriend, and Tony's got a masochistic streak that's a mile wide, so it makes total sense that the one guy into whose pants he really wants to get isn't interested in him that way, not because he's not gay, but because his boyfriend's stuck sixty years in the past or so, except not really.

"His name's Bucky," Steve says, and Tony could have worked with that, really; he's no slouch, and many people seem to think he is quite charming. Sexy, even. Lust-inspiring.

Only, well. "Hi," Steve's boyfriend from the really-not-at-all-distant--apparently-past says from the backseat. "Nice to meet you."

He looks sort of familiar, in a way Tony can't really put his finger on. Given what that usually means (one-night stands are perfectly all right when you've got an unrequited crush on your best friend) he's not sure how hard he should try to remember.

 

Not at all, it turns out.

"Your boyfriend's the fucking _Winter Soldier_?" Tony does not freak out in the car. It's a rule.

He's _built_ the car. It's like his baby, except that it didn't take nine months and there was also a lot less blood and screaming at the end, even if there might have been some pretty hot sex at the beginning. (Tony's not sure with whom; chances are, the guy or girl had nothing to do with the car, but it's a metaphor, all right?)

"Not yet," Steve says.

"What do you mean: not yet? We've _met_ the Winter Soldier. We got _beaten to a bloody pulp_ by the Winter Soldier." Tony takes that sort of thing personal.

"It's complicated," Steve says.

Tony doesn't like complicated. It makes everything ... not simple. "Are we talking evil twin here? Alternate dimensions? What?"

Steve shrugs. "Time travel."

Tony doesn't like complicated, but he decides right there and then that he absolutely _hates_ time travel. Until he remembers that _Steve's_ here by time travel, too, so, fine, maybe not.

 

The way it happened is:

it totally wasn't Tony's fault at all, no way, no how, you can't prove anything so there.

 

"You may be a god, but you're not _my_ god," Steve tells the evil thingy of the week, who is apparently an ancient Russian deity or something; Tony half-suspects this episode's going to be a two-parter, so the whole thing's probably going to end on a cliff-hanger.

Doesn't mean he's not worried just a tiny little bit. "Yeah. What he said."

"Your god doesn't exist," Mr Bad Guy says.

"My god is standing right there," Tony says, because seriously, who writes this dialogue? "And my god can beat up your god every day of the week. Know why? Because he's a superhero and because that is how we roll in America. Superheroes beat gods. It's called democracy. Look it up some time."

"Tony, that's not what democracy means," Steve says. He probably knows, seeing as how he's been sworn to defend and uphold it and all.

"What do you mean: America?" Mr Bad Guy asks. "You mean this isn't Russia?"

They're standing on a sunny beach in Florida. Some distance away, there's a grove of orange trees. Tony's never been to Russia, but he's fairly sure it doesn't have sunny beaches. Or orange trees.

"It's still not cool to hide people's keys in their flower pots," Steve tells the empty space that used to contain a dark-looking dude dressed in black.

 

"Tony, I'm not a god," Steve says.

"I worship at the altar of your hero-ness," Tony says. "Or something. Whatever, it was just a heat of the moment, quick and snappy come-back kind of thing, seriously, don't worry about it."

 

Bucky saves the world.

Technically, strictly speaking, the world is fine; it's the space-time continuum that's fucked up and getting more fucked up with every two-bit deity, demon and goodie-two-shoes slipping from one world to another, and Tony figures this out because he's brilliant and a genius.

"You should take him to Coney island some time, making him ride the rollercoaster."

As far as last words go, they're not the weirdest Tony's ever heard.

(Actually, of course, they're not last words; Bucky's not dead or anything; he's just back where he belongs. Back where Steve should be, but isn't, because Tony is a selfish jerk and also hopelessly in love so screw the universe and the space-time continuum; what've they done for him lately, anyway, except cause a truckload of trouble?)


End file.
